Happy National Bowling Day

 The 2nd Saturday in August is National Bowling Day.  Bowling can be a fun game even when you suck at it.  I know this because I suck at bowling.  My strategy is to grab the lightest ball my fingers will fit in and throw it as hard as I can.  I have no finesse, control or ability to spin the ball, just brute force.  Maybe the pins will get knocked over, maybe they won’t.  Maybe I’ll roll a gutterball or the ball will be going so fast that it jumps out of the gutter.  Maybe it’ll wind up in a different lane or I’ll wind up on my ass.  Instead, we’ll celebrate National Bowling Day with Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-A-Rama.

Trailer

Sorority Babes In The Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama - Official Trailer - FULL MOVIE FREE on TubiTV

Questions

JON:  Does Jimmie look like a guy who shares beer often?

SANDY:  Jimmie doesn’t look or act like a guy who shares anything often. How many cans of beer could you drink on your own in one evening in your college age days?

JON:  A lot but really never good beer because we couldn’t afford it.  A case of Busch or Milwaukee’s Best is like the equivalent to maybe 2 really good beers.  Sorority or not?  

SANDY:  Part of the draw towards attending Bard for me was that there were no sororities or fraternities. It might be a good experience for a lot of people, but there’s something about the whole idea that just seems a little creepy to me. Like cults and organized religion. Were you in or would you ever join a fraternity?

JON:  It wasn’t an option the 1st time I went to college and by the time I went back I didn’t have any interest.  How would you feel about Babs paddling you?

SANDY:  Well, back in my crazy hoe days I consented to having a dude smack the shit (not literally) out of my ass with a paddle and I’m okay with that never happening again. Should I buy Alison a paddle for Christmas this year?

JON:  As long as it has those studs on it.  Do you love Calvin as much as I do?

SANDY:  I absolutely love Calvin. He’s such an adorable dork. I definitely would have wanted to stay with him at the house watching that movie, though I might have suggested we sit more than 30 centimeters away from the tv screen. Could you tell what movie he was watching? I don’t have the answer, by the way, I wasn’t paying close enough attention to that detail, but I am curious.

JON:  Creepozoids which was directed by the same guy and will almost definitely show up in the blog someday.  Does a bra full of worms sound remotely erotic?

SANDY:  Not to me, but I’m sure it could be someone’s kink. How about a jock strap/cup full of slugs and riding on a see-saw?

JON:  On a see-saw???  You lost me there.  SLugs in a jock strap maybe.  Could they maybe be a little more inconspicuous?

SANDY:  Where the fuck was everyone else in that town? I feel like a cop would have seen them just driving by and been like “I will follow youuuuuu, follow you wherever youuuuuu may goooooooo.... there isn’t an ocean too deeeeeep, a mountain so high it could keeeeep, keep me awayyyyy.” Have you ever “broken into” a place you weren’t supposed to be? If so, details please.

JON:  I have entered places that I shouldn’t have been but I didn’t break in.  Well once.  I broke into the vacant apartment above the one I lived in to use the bathroom because my toilet was broken.  Calvin is drunk on one beer isn’t he?

SANDY:  Calvin puked almost as much from one beer as I did from 14 shots of maple whiskey. Remember when I drank all of that maple whiskey and sat on your couch barfing into plastic bags all night long because I didn’t think I could walk 12 feet to the bathroom? And how I left the next morning, taking multiple bags of my own vomit with me because I “didn’t want Alison to have to throw too many of my vomit bags away”? Despite my drunkenness and possible near alcohol poisoning, I still distinctly remember you sitting at the computer in the living room loudly announcing to Alison on the other side of the house “IT’S STARTING” when I began to puke. Did you get sick from that maple whiskey night? I can’t remember that detail.

JON:  No I survived the maple whisky that night but it got me a couple other times.  Stealing a bowling trophy is a sorority tradition?

SANDY:  I don’t think the trophy stealing was the tradition. It seemed like Babs thought that up at the last minute. I think the control and humiliation of incoming sorority sisters was the traditional part of things. Sounds like so much fun!! (Sarcasm is lost via text, but that was sarcasm.) What would be your top 3 initiation activities if you were in charge of breaking in the new pledges

JON:  Nothing demeaning.  So maybe something like sitting through B horror movies, answering weird questions about said movies and asking your own questions.  So basically this blog is your initiation.  Remember when we took turns puking?

SANDY:  Wait.... was that maple whiskey night? Or are you referring to that brief period of time where you puked every time I brought a random friend to Friday night dinner?

JON:  Both.  Your maple whisky night was part of a stretch of about 4 or 5 months where the 4 of us took turns puking.  Me outside 2 restaurants and a CVS, you on our couch, someone else in the bird bath and Alison overachieving and actually making it to a toilet,   I know this isn’t a question but LINNEA QUIGLEY!  I love her.

SANDY:  She’s awesome. There was another character in Return of the Living Dead named Spider. Do you think her being referred to as Spider was an homage to that movie and that other character?

JON:  It’s possible since she was in that too.  This movie has all of the Big 3 ‘80s Scream Queens since Michelle Bauer and Brinke Stevens are in it too.  Does Spider have an attitude problem?

SANDY:  Spider is definitely recovering from some of her own trauma and is presenting herself as a tough guy who doesn’t care about anything as a means of survival, but she very clearly cares for Calvin pretty quickly. I’m guessing not many people ever treated her with respect or took an interest in her as a person before Calvin’s immediate puppy dog love. What was your attitude like in your angst-iest years?

JON:  I was a very nihilistic, misanthropic mess.  I hated everyone and everything and I was drunk a lot.  Spider is going to steal any money that she can huh?

SANDY:  She seems pretty desperate for anything she can get. Would a bowling alley be your first choice if you were going to rob a place for cash?

JON:  If the bowling alley was as poorly secured as this one, then absolutely.  Bowling alleys probably have a lot of cash on site.  Are bowling trophies supposed to smoke when they break?

SANDY:  Maybe if they had been transformed into bongs. Let’s join a bowling league and win the biggest trophy and make it into a bong.

JON:  With my bowling skills, we’d be lucky if we didn’t get kicked out of the league.  Maybe we could join a kids’ league with bumpers.  Would you make a wish with Uncle Impie?

SANDY:  Like Calvin, I have read and seen enough stories/movies of the horror variety to know better than that. If you were stupid enough to take an imp up on his offer of one wish, what would you wish for?

JON:  I would wish for the imp to go back into his bowling trophy and leave me alone.  Does a bowling trophy seem like the proper place to trap Uncle Impie?

SANDY:  It’s definitely an odd choice. And it’s extra odd that whoever trapped it in that trophy kept it out on an open shelf. If I had managed to trap that thing inside of something, I would put the first container in another super tight small ass container and put THAT container in another super tight container and so on for a while. Each time, crazy gluing the container shut followed by unbreakable epoxy to hold each container shut within the next container. Maybe gluing each container within the other to make it really impossible to separate them. Do you think it would have been possible to kill Uncle Impie, or is he something that can’t die?

JON:  I don’t think Impie can die permanently.  You might be able to take him down briefly butI suspect he has some ability to re-animate.  Should you use your one wish to get laid once?  How does that work anyway?  I doubt sex with Keith was her wish.

SANDY:  Yeah, I don’t know. That was some fucked up shit. She didn’t get her own wish and then she died. Not cool. And no, using your wish to get laid once is some dumb-fuck thirsty GUY bullshit. No woman would ever wish for that. Unless it was her dying wish maybe. I thought glasses in movies meant you were supposed to be smart??? What was up with Keith?

JON:  I think Keith’s glasses were fake.  No lens or maybe readers.  Keith was preoccupied with getting laid so maybe they were dick glasses.  Michael Sonye, the voice of Uncle Impie, wrote Blood Diner.

SANDY:  Really? That’s awesome! I liked Impie’s voice, I thought he was a funny little fucker. I wonder if Sonye suggested the deep fried head scene for Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama, since Blood Diner came out the year before? 

JON:  I like to think so.  Like he got on set and said “Hey, you know what was a really great gag?  Deep fried heads.  I did it in Blood Diner.  You should do it too.”  Are these the biggest wastes of wishes ever?

SANDY:  These people were making wishes like children. I’m surprised no one wished for a swimming pool full of twizzlers. What’s a dumb thing you’d wish for?

JON:  A swimming pool full of Twizzlers but only the red ones.  Is Spider the only smart one?

SANDY:  Calvin is smart too, but he pukes so much it renders him almost useless in a few situations. 

JON:  Do prom queens just spin in circles endlessly?

SANDY:  What the fuck was with that? Does being prom queen automatically mean you lose all touch with reality and then also revert to being a 2 year old outside in the snow for the first time? What would you do if you were prom queen?

JON:  Well I would have a great sense of redemption since I was cheated out of the title at my own prom.  Why did the one girl turn into the Bride of Frankenstein?

SANDY:  Haha, SALE AT PARTY CITY!! What was that other girl supposed to be and what was with the scene where she was trying to cover her facial boils with makeup? I didn’t think they had enough of their original wherewithal to do things like that without Uncle Impie’s command?

JON:  I think they had some control maybe or Uncle Impie was just having some fun with her and makeup.  Did they try to block the door with boxes when the door pulls open from the outside?

SANDY:  Maybe just to add a pathway blockage and buy themselves every extra second they could get?

JON:  A deep fried head!!!!

SANDY:  What’s the count up to now? Is it 3, or more than that??

JON:  3 deep fried heads, 2 new park rangers ad 1 symbolic new ranger.  Did they think Taffy would stretch like taffy?

SANDY:  I’m pretty sure they intended to tear her in half. What a stupid fucking name. Although, if I actually knew someone named Taffy and they weren’t a wretched twat, I’d feel differently. What’s the dumbest or funniest name you’ve ever heard?

JON:  I’m a sucker for names that sound dirty because I’m a child.  There was a baseball player named Jimmy Gobble and one named R.A. Dickey and I used to love when they played one another and there was a Gobble-Dickey matchup.  My least favorite name is Neveah.  She Demons- damned if you do, damned if you don’t?

SANDY:  Yes.

JON:  Why did Babs turn into blond Elvira?

SANDY:  I think it’s because she had that sadistic attitude already and that was their version of a dominatrix outfit, though I’m not sure how the other two chicks related to the things they turned into. I loved Spider’s line about it being “too bad they had to kill” Babs because she liked her outfit. What would the demon version of yourself be like?

JON:  This is the demon version of me.  The non-demon version was replaced in 1984.  Is a monster in the backseat the oldest trick in the book?

SANDY:  ALWAYS check the back seat. Calvin should have known that.

JON:  Are there imp dentists because Uncle Impie needs one?

SANDY:  Shoudn’t he be able to fix that shit on his own with his magical impy powers?

JON:  You should never be your own dentist even with magic powers.  Should Spider call her place the web?

SANDY:  NO.

JON:  Yes she should.  Is that proper imp disposal?

SANDY:  Also no. I described my personal Imp storage method of choice above in an earlier question. How would you dispose of an imp if it couldn’t be killed?

Jon: First, he would go in a giant pill bottle with the foil seal and a child proof cap.  Then I would wrap the bottle with the stickers they used to put on CD cases.  After that I would encase the bottle in cement and drop it in the Mariana Trench.  No more Uncle Impie.

 

Lessons

1. Watch out for the staples.  You never know when the staples in your magazine will give you a good scratch especially if you’re Keith.

2. Don’t steal bowling trophies’  Even if it’s part of your initiation.  There could be an imp inside and you really don’t have anywhere to keep it anyway.

3. Don’t make wishes with imps. Or genies.  Or anything else.  Imps always grant a demented version of your wish that will be disastrous for you.

Happy National Lighthouse Day

 August 7th is National Lighthouse Day.  The lighthouse has long kept ships safe, warning of danger on the coasts.  More recently, lighthouses have become tourist destinations.  So you could hop in your car and go visit a lighthouse -- or you could watch the horror, sea creature, romance movie Cold Skin.

Trailer

COLD SKIN Trailer (2018)

Questions

JON:  Wow what a bummer of an opening quote about always being close to those you hate and never close to the ones you love?

SANDY:  Are you talking about the German Nietzsche quote? I looked that shit up and it translated as “He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.” SOOOOOOO, I interpreted the quote as meaning that without holding space in our hearts and minds for others, we become hollow & empty inhuman creatures. Monsters. It’s the kind of attitude governments rely on when spreading propaganda to win approval for war. Convince the people the “enemy” isn’t even human so they don’t care what happens to that “enemy”. Would you have stayed on an island where the person you were replacing had disappeared and there were pointed sticks placed everywhere clearly as a method of protection against some unknown thing?

JON:  No TV?  No Wifi?  Not a chance.  Are matches as useless as tits on a bull?  Do we know bull tits would be useless?

SANDY:  I actually think tits on a bull might be quite useful. More milk for everyone! Just make sure you “milk” the correct protrusion... Have you ever milked a cow in real life? A COW JON, NOT A BULL. Will you come to a farm with me and milk a cow?

JON: After my last farm experience? No.  Last time I was at a farm, I got to see a sheep birth which was tolerable but then the mother sheep started eating the placenta and that was enough farm for me.  Is that how all lighthouses should be protected?

SANDY:  Listen, if you’re going to do a job you might as well go all in on doing it. What do you think Gruner did before he was the lighthouse keeper for that random-ass island?

JON:  Gruner was probably something that stifled his ambitions and crushed his dreams so he fled to the relative freedom and isolation of a distant island.  The naked dude has seen some shit huh? 

SANDY:  Something was definitely amiss with that dude for at least the entire time we saw him, but probably well before that too. Like the boat captain said to Friend, he must have been running from something to be willing to hide out on that island for a year or more. How many times within the movie did you think you were looking at Gruner’s dead body?

JON:  At least 3 times.  Gruner looked dead the whole movie.  A job as monotonous as it is insignificant?  I think I’ve had some of those.

SANDY:  I think the bulk of us have had (and for many, still have) those jobs in our lives. Now the heavy question is, are you referring to the job of keeping the lighthouse, or the nightly “job” of attempting to eradicate all of the sea creatures?

JON:  The lighthouse for sure.  Gruner said it wasn’t on a shipping route and was built to balance the naval budget.  The eradication of the sea creatures was at least meaningful to Gruner.  Pounding on the lighthouse door after sea creatures are in your house is pretty rational right?

SANDY:  Maybe? I’d be going for safety towards the building made of stone too, especially if it was where the only other human on the island was. I’d be asking that other person WHAT THE FUCK was going on and how they’d survived for so long. What the fuck were they eating while there for an entire year? Potatoes don’t stay good for that long and it didn’t seem like a farming-friendly environment...

JON:  Fish?  Dead sea creature? Should Friend have stayed on the boat?

SANDY:  Yes and no? Yes because he wouldn’t have had to go through all of that insanity, but no because his being there ultimately ended the war between Gruner and the sea creatures, which also freed Aneris. Even though Friend wasn’t a newly transferred park ranger, did you get newly transferred park ranger energy from him and his situation?

JON:  Friend is definitely an unofficial 3rd new park ranger.  Who would have thought that he’d set the house on fire?

SANDY:  Am I correct in thinking he did that on his second night at the island? I get what he was trying to do, but it was pretty ridiculous. Went along with that quote though... he was so afraid of the creatures attacking and destroying his house and killing him that he almost did all of it to himself. Have you ever accidentally set anything on fire? (ACCIDENTALLY, JON.)

JON:  Define accidental.  Did I accidentally set a fire?  No.  Did a fire I purposely set accidentally get out of control?  Maybe.  Sea creatures licking your bloody hand- hot or get the fucking beast off of me?

SANDY:  I definitely could be heard throughout the neighborhood loudly expressing my distaste for this scene from inside my living room as I watched it unfold. NO THANK YOU. BUTTTT, looking back at it I think she was doing it to try and help. Like how a dog will lick a wound to relieve the discomfort and try to get it to heal faster. Do you remember when I had a Mohawk with clean shaven sides and you licked the side of my fuzzy head just to do it? ALISON, WHY DID YOU LET HIM DO THAT TO ME, I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY FRIEND???!!!!

JON:  Does Gruner waste weapons?

SANDY:  Did I see that muthafukka throw a weapon over the edge of the lighthouse lookout platform? Is that what you’re referring to?

JON:  Yep.  He fired the gun like twice and threw it away.  Then he used his hatchet twice and threw it off the lighthouse.  OHHHH he’s fucking the sea creature- good idea?

SANDY:  Before the scene where we all got to hear the sounds of sea creature fucking, I thought to myself “SOMEONE EITHER IS OR IS GOING TO BE FUCKING THIS SEA CREATURE AT SOME POINT DURING THIS MOVIE.” Have you seen The Shape of Water?

JON:  I did.  There was less human-sea creature sex in that.  Is a love triangle between 2 men and a sea creature trapped in a lighthouse really a good idea?

SANDY:  I didn’t get love triangle vibes. I got possessive dehumanizing control vibes from Gruner, and non-sexual scientific curiosity vibes from Friend.

JON:  Is the she sea creature in labor every night?

SANDY:  I wasn’t sure if Gruner was having her make that call to draw the others out of the sea so he could kill them, or if she had originally been making that call on her own from the isolation of being with Gruner? She wasn’t physically restrained from returning to the sea, but she was still a prisoner. She had a sort of Stockholm Syndrome. And he definitely used her calling the others to draw them out when he had the explosives set up around the lighthouse. So, NO JON, she wasn’t in labor every night. 

JON:  Why is he fucking the sea creature?

SANDY:  Isolation? Domination? Horniness? I don’t know, but the fact that he found her as a baby and kept her like a pet and fucked her anyway is VERY disturbing. When did he start fucking her? Was it while she was still a child? Would he have fucked the family poodle if he’d still been living a regular life? Would you fuck the family poodle Jon?

JON:  Fifi is safe from me.  Gruner, on the other hand, would probably do it.  I don’t think he started banging her immediately.  I think he only started the sex when she was older.  Do you think they could have lived in peace with the sea creatures?

SANDY:  We don’t get to see what their behavior was like before Gruner had kidnapped and abused Aneris, but I’m guessing they would have been appreciative towards him if he had freed her from that net and let her go back to her home. How fucking rad would it be to live on an island with a bunch of sea creature friends?

JON:  It would be pretty cool especially if they were all like Sigmund the Friendly Sea Monster.  I loved that fucking thing.  How can Friend possibly resist the she sea creature’s flirtations?

SANDY:  I don’t think she was flirting. Not in a sexual way, at least. I think she was desperate for freedom and connection with another living thing that didn’t treat her like a worthless piece of garbage. I think she was reaching out for help. 

JON:  Is naming her really a good idea?

SANDY:  Yes. Having a name helps humans identify other living things as individuals, potentially worthy of respect and kindness and empathy. It’s much harder to treat “Aneris” like an object than it would be to treat “that sea creature” as one. Back to that Nietzsche quote again... Gruner thought of himself as the superior being, and therefore made himself into the grossest inhuman piece of shit he could have been. Weeeeeee!!!!! What name would you give to a sea creature?

JON: Sigmund.   Was vodka the best use for their limited potato supply?

SANDY:  I might have waited until they started being less edible as food before I turned them into alcohol, but I also understand the desire for some mind-numbing substances in this environment. Ultimately the answer is no though, Jon. Definitely not the best use of their potato supply. Have you ever attempted to make your own vegetable based alcohol? LET’S MAKE SOME WEIRD ALCOHOL JON. No maple whiskey though.

JON:   Oh fuck no on the maple whisky.  That shit got us both.  I blame the sugar.  Yes we should make our own alcohol.  WHY IS HE FUCKING THE SEA CREATURE?

SANDY:  Men are gross Jon.

JON:  I’m a man.  I wouldn’t fuck a sea creature.  Gruner really is a pathetic man isn’t he?

SANDY:  He’s definitely a mentally ill man. I think pathetic is pretty accurate too. He’s allowed himself to get sucked into this fucked up mindset and refuses to see anything that might pull him out of it. Do you think he’d finally realized the error of his ways when he walked outside and allowed the sea creatures to destroy him?

JON:  I don’t think he realized his errors.  I think he realized the futility of his situation and gave up.  Does Gruner lie a lot or does it just seem like he is?

SANDY:  Good question, I’m not totally sure. I think he maybe convinced himself of his own lies so he could justify his behavior without viewing himself as the monster that he had become, so in his mind he was telling the truth? Kind of like he-who-shall-not-be-named supporters. 

JON:  Oh no not Friend too.  Why is he fucking the sea creature now?

SANDY:  I don’t think he ever fucked Aneris, Jon!!! I think he took a swim with her to show her compassion and acknowledge her value as another living being, not to fuck her. Plus, Gruner was lording over both of them and treating them both like his own personal property, so befriending each other gave them both the strength they needed to break free from Gruner’s insane bullshit.

JON:  They definitely got it on in that tidal pool.  He stripped and did that slow, sexy swim over to her and Gruner was watching and his eyes told the rest of the story.  Would you trust Gruner to keep you safe while you dove?

SANDY:  FUCK. NO. Did one of the sea creatures help Friend get out of that fallen death suit?

JON:  It certainly appeared that way.  Do you try to gently grab snow?

SANDY:  Grabbing is too aggressive for snow, even if you do it gently. You need to allow it to fall onto you if you want to see an individual flake. Am I too hungry right now to be responding to questions without sounding Iike I’m floating out in the fucking ether?

JON:  You should have fish fillets.  Is Gruner crazy or just a piece of shit or both?

SANDY:  I think he may have once been a decent man, but something happened to cause him to desire that isolation and spark his descent into madness. Maybe the wife we saw in that photo died in childbirth, or some other tragedy that resulted in a part of his mind breaking. What would it take for you to be done enough with life to move to a totally isolated island? (For me it’s just stepping outside of my house.)

JON:  TV and Wifi.  WHY ARE THEY BOTH FUCKING THE SEA CREATURE?

SANDY:  They aren’t both fucking her, you twat. 

JON: They are definitely both fucking her.  Is Aneris the only female of the species?

SANDY:  Maybe they work similarly to bees? Like with one queen for many others? Or maybe they only send their males out to fight?

JON:  Gruner really snapped didn’t he?

SANDY:  “Nobody leaves Gruner!” Yeah, nobody except sanity...  OHHHHH!!! Boink!

JON:  So basically the other sea creatures are coming to rescue Aneris?

SANDY:  I think so. I think they’re hella pissed he stole their kid and proceeded to torture and fuck her for who knows how many years. Also, if Gruner was actually the other weather dude Friend was replacing and Friend was only scheduled to stay as his replacement for one year, how fucking long had Gruner been there? Could it have only been a year? I was under the impression that it had been much longer than that. 

JON:  I think there are 2 separate jobs on the island- lighthouse operator and weather station guy.  So Gruner saved Aneris’ life so he could fuck her?

SANDY:  I don’t know if that’s WHY he saved her initially, but it’s certainly suspect that he didn’t save her from the net and then immediately release her back into the sea without the abuse. What would you do if you found a juvenile sea creature stuck in a net? IF YOU SAY KEEP IT AND FUCK IT WE CAN’T BE FRIENDS ANYMORE.

JON:  I would not fuck it.  I would free it from the net and release it back into the wild if it were healthy.  If not, it goes to the vet?  Marine biologist?  Human doctor?  Somewhere.  Gruner also really has an abandonment issue to go with everything else but do you feel bad for him at all?

SANDY:  I can empathize with his descent into madness and whatever might have happened in his life to cause it, but his behavior towards Aneris and Friend was totally unacceptable. That dude needed some SERIOUS psychotherapy. And prison time.

JON:  Is there really any other ending for Gruner?

SANDY:  I don’t think so. I couldn’t see him returning to any sort of normal life after that fucking shitstorm. Could you IMAGINE him going back to England or wherever the fuck and getting some mental help and maybe years later recalling stories from his life during a luncheon or business dinner? “Speaking of exes, I once rescued and then sexually and physically abused a young humanoid sea creature for an unknown amount of time. She used to lick my bloody wounds to help them heal.” Would you watch a reality show of Gruner’s return to regular life?

JON:  Just Gruner released back into society with no therapy would be the greatest reality show ever.  A Bachelor type show starring Gruner would be great too.  WHY DID THEY FUCK THE SEA CREATURE?

SANDY:  GODDAMNIT JON.

JON:  Was one of them the father of the baby sea creature?

SANDY:  Well, Friend definitely wasn’t the father because he DIDN’T FUCK ANERIS. I also don’t think Gruner was the father, though I wondered about that when I saw Aneris standing near it on the shore. It looked like pure sea creature to me, so I don’t think it was Aneris’ child at all. Although, Gruner did say she left sometimes and always wound up coming back. Maybe she made that baby with another sea creature while she was down there. She didn’t react to its death the way I feel like a mother would have reacted to her own child’s death though. I’m sticking with my “no” answer.

Jon: Friend definitely fucked Aneris.  I think the 3 of them should go on Maury and have DNA tests

 

Lessons

1. Listen to the captain.  If the captain suggests not staying on the island with the crazy naked guy, listen to him

2. Don’t start fires near your only shelter or really next to any shelter.  Especially if you don;t really know what you’re doing.  Especially if you have no way of putting it out.

3. Don’t fall in love with humanoid sea creatures.  Don’t have sex with them.  Don’t keep them as your sex slave.  Don’t breed with them.  Just don’t do it.