Happy Holidays!!

 It’s December, and that means it's the holiday season but more importantly it’s time to binge all the Christmas horror movies that we love so much.  To kick off December we watched the French movie Deadly Games aka Dial Code Santa Claus.  Deadly Games is part Home Alone, part Die Hard, and all amazing.  Thomas is an action movie-obsessed young boy.  He spends his days acting out his action hero fantasies with his grandfather and dog.  His is an idyllic fantasy world until a demented man dressed as Santa shows up to take revenge on Thomas.  Can Thomas put his action hero training to good use to defend his home and family?  Read the blog and watch Deadly Games to find out.

Questions

Jon: How awesome would it have been to have an old World War II plane in your house when you were a kid? 

SANDY:  I was so confused by that at first when the movie started, but yes that would be pretty fucking epic.  

Alison: So cool and with a dog copilot even! 

Jon: Does Thomas need some age appropriate friends besides a dog and an old man?  

SANDY:  He was friends with that kid who was kind of a dick about saying Santa wasn’t real… that kind of counts. 

Alison: That kid definitely needs to get out and mingle more. 

Jon: Fuck Pilou?  

SANDY: I can’t remember anyone’s fucking name. Is that the dickish kid? 

Alison: Pilou not only has a weird name but he's also a jerk. 

Jon: Did Napoleon really exist?  Does Thomas desperately need more socialization?  

SANDY: Probably? To both? 

Alison: As above, yes this poor kid needs to get out more. 

Jon: Is this the weirdest wannabe, psycho Santa ever?  

SANDY: The weirdest? I’m gonna say no. Not based on any specific wannabe psycho Santa data, just a hunch. 

Alison: His eyes are particularly disturbing. 

Jon: How many chaotic wake-ups does grandpa have to endure?  SANDY: Oh my god, how did he not have 12 fucking heart attacks?! He was awfully jolly for being woken up like that too, I would have instinctually murdered that child just as a self defense reaction to that. Alison: He is such a sweet grandpa. So joyfully engaged with that kid. How strong is this kids mullet game? 

SANDY:  Haha, he’s a fucking professional.

Jon: He should enter the USA Mullet Championship.  The grand prize in 2023 was $10,000.  Maybe I should grow one.

Alison: How big is this freaking house ?  

SANDY: Right?!?! That shit’s a castle.

Jon: Second largest in France.

Alison: Is Pilou the jerk ? Is Pilou the weirdo?  

SANDY:  Whyyyy can I not remember anyone’s fucking names?! 

Jon: Pilou’s a creep.  He’s a weirdo.  What the hell is he doing here?  He don’t belong here.

Alison: How gross is it to kiss strangers?  

SANDY: Ummm… I mean… it’s also kinda hot. Oh wait, you mean kiss them hello?

Jon: So how would you greet someone?  Stick a finger in their butt?

Alison: This kid is like 9 and works on cars?  

SANDY:  He’s a mullety genius!

Jon: Thomas is everything that little punk Kevin McAllister wishes he could be.  By the way, Deadly Games came out before Home Alone.

Alison: Okay, I see he also drives.  

SANDY:  Exactly. Fucking prodigy.

Jon: Dream on, Kevin!

Alison: Are kid and grandpa playing DnD before there was DnD?  SANDY:  That wasn’t DnD? I just assumed it was. When was DnD invented??

Jon: Maybe it was French DnD but it wasn’t DnD although it was invented before this movie was released.

Sandy: Were either of you as excited about how similar garbage trucks are elsewhere in the world?? Because I was very oddly excited about that. 

Alison: I was just disturbed by how close those kids were playing to the garbage trucks. 

Jon: I didn’t even notice the garbage trucks but if that excites you, great.

Sandy: Did you guys know that I once wrote and printed out a note “from Santa” for Edric so we could set up “Christmas morning” a day early since he wasn’t going to be with us for it that year? And that he said he knew it was real because we didn’t have a printer at home? I didn’t murder anyone afterwards though. 

Alison: That is so sweet. I remember notes from Santa when I was a kid. Those were the best. 

Jon: You skipped the best part then.

Sandy: Soooo… the kid is babysitting the grandpa? 

Alison: Well he works on cars and also drives them AND he has a mullet so I think that makes him legally an adult in France. 

Jon: Grandpa is mostly blind, old, and diabetic.  Thomas has that under control.

Sandy: Also… who leaves their kid alone outside of a store with a total stranger dressed as Santa? Whatttttt?? 

Alison: Hi 1980s childhood! 

Jon: Every 1980s parent.

Sandy: Would you hesitate to run someone over if you’d just watched them stab your dog to death with a pie server? 

Alison: I would immediately rush the person and stab them to death. Immediately. 

Jon: I might hesitate a little if the killer was 2 feet taller and 150 pounds heavier.  Sorry 68 kilograms.

Sandy: HOW MUCH DO YOU WANT TO HIDE INSIDE A SUIT OF ARMOR?!?! 

Alison: I think my claustrophobia would get to me. {{shiver}}

Jon: Scooby Doo gave me that desire.  This just cemented it.

Lessons

Encourage your child to explore their inner action hero.  You never know when it will save their life.

Thomas > Kevin.