Happy National Best Friends Day!

 June 8th is National Best Friends Day!  It’s a day to honor your favorite partners in crime or the people who keep you out of it.  It’s your chance to celebrate with the people who know you best, know where you buried the bodies and helped you bury them.  In this case, we celebrated with Idle Hands.  When Anton’s hand becomes possessed by a demon, it leads him on an insane killing spree.  Anton turns to his best friends Mick and Pnub to help stop his murderous hand before it kills the love of his life.  Can this hapless trio of stoners stop a hand?  How does one stop a possessed hand?  For the answers to these and so many other questions read the blog and watch Idle Hands.  And tell your friends you love them.

Questions

Jon:  Could the opening credits be any more late 90s?

Sandy:  Probably, but I couldn't tell you in what ways. Can we talk about the crushes I had on Devon Sawa and Seth Green when I was younger? The Seth Green one will never go away.

Jon:  Oh didn’t we all.  Especially Seth.  What is a cornucopia?

Sandy:  It's a fucking horn shaped basket full of food, you mook. Fred Willard!!!!

Jon:  Not for long.  Would you look under the bed?

Sandy:  I would leap off the bed and look under it from across the room, MAYBE. Do any of your cats ever get on the bed with an insane hissing scream like that one did?

Jon:  Not hissing but Petra wanders around the room and the bed yelling at us all morning.  Would their little Scooter do something like that?

Sandy:  Yes and no I guess.

Jon:  Why does the man always have to go investigate the sound?

Sandy:  Because men are dumber.

Jon:  I don’t think that’s the case.  I think it’s more gender role bullshit.  Could mom have dialed 911 any slower?

Sandy:  It's like when people are running to their cars and drop the fucking keys right as they get to the door, or when they're running to their house and can't find the right key as they get to the doorknob. Nerves make you fumble. I panic and wonder if I even listen to music whenever someone asks me to name bands I like.

Jon:  Is Anton a problem solver or problem ignorer?

Sandy:  Well, I'd say an ignorer but he DID go to the supermarket for the dog food and groceries. That has to count for something. Also, his wearable weed pipe was pretty innovative. Have you ever made a bong or pipe out of something that wasn't intended for smoking weed? Tell us more, pleaseandthankyou.

Jon:  I have never made a bong.  Marijuana has never made me an engineer.  “This ain’t Dominoes you lazy bitch.”?

Sandy:  Haha, I have that line written down in my notes too. There are so many good lines in this movie. I also love " ' Don't you watch the news? ', ' Nah man, I hate that show. ' " How about that boobies bowl?! I want that. And a weiner one.

Jon:  They would go well with our toilet mugs and our boobie and dick straws.  Would his mom suck dick well if she had teeth?

Sandy:  Maybe, but definitely not as well as when she doesn't. How often do you touch your junk and sniff your hand?

Jon:  I don’t think I’ve ever done that and I can’t imagine ever feeling that I need to.  Jerking off in the milkshake maker again?  Once didn’t get them fired?

Sandy:  Did they do it together? A brotherly circle jerk into the milkshakes? I once heard tale of a girl puking into the rice tub at Desert Moon in the JV Mall. Don't know if it was true, but I lost my taste for public rice after that. What's the grossest or most inappropriate thing you've ever secretly done at work?

Jon:  I’ve had sex in a work bathroom but for the most part I never did anything too gross at a job.  Mischief, mayhem and danger were my things.  How smooth is Anton with the ladies?

Sandy:  Ha! About as smooth as a bucket of broken glass. Have you ever sniffed someone's journal or another random item that might vaguely smell like them? Underwear and tampons don't count.

Jon:  I thought about this for a while and I don’t think I ever did that either.  Can you smell the marker Debi was using through the TV?

Sandy:  Yes! Gave me an immediate headache memory. Beaver, Utah. Heheheh.

Jon:  It’s a real place too!!!  There’s only like 3,000 people there but now I know something else about Utah!  Do those cops look like they could be only 4 years older than Anton?

Sandy:  Some people age differently, JON. You might look perpetually 35 years old, but I've met 38 year olds who look like they're in their 60's. How much would you pay to have Vivica Fox breathe-shout "BEAVER" into your ear?

Jon:  I don’t know.  Maybe $1.50?  I hate when people whisper in my ear with their warm, humid breath.  Hard pass.  Can Anton realistically expect Mick and Pnub to notice his dead parents quickly when it took him a couple days?

Sandy:  WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING SMELL THAT MUST HAVE BEEN WAFTING BY THEN??? I think all of these mofos are so lost in their own immediate weed worlds that it's probably pretty easy to be totally non-observant. That smell thing though... that one I can't accept. How punk-rock is it to use the ticket a cop gives you as rolling paper?

Jon:  It’s something.  Probably a big waste of weed.  I tried rolling tobacco in paper and it does not smoke well.  Ever been so high that you couldn’t remember if you murdered your parents?

Sandy:  Maybe? Would or have you ever washed your mouth out with Dawn?

Jon:  I have.  It used to be her fetish when we dated but eventually Dawn got too demanding and I had to break up with her.  Taste stayed in my mouth until I started dating Mrs. Butterworth.  You do not want to know what she wanted me to do,  Is “the killer was wearing your shirt” the most logical conclusion?

Sandy:  Hahahahaha, he just loved his friend so purely that was the only thing that made sense to him. Does Anton listen to the same exact song every day when he wakes up?

Jon:  He certainly does.  How awesome are uncontrollable/possessed hands?

Sandy:  Well, I personally prefer having control over my own appendages but I do love them in a movie. I thought Devon Sawa did an excellent job of making it seem like his hand was in control, and that's not just because I want to lick his face. How much did Anton calling the dog in to hide under the covers with him make you want to touch his butt?

Jon:  It kind of did make me want to touch the dog’s butt.  Do you approach a weird guy who rang your doorbell, covered in blood and wrestling with his hand?

Sandy:  I would not approach him but I might yell from afar to see if he needed help. Orrrr I might call for help of my own while trying to keep my existence a secret from him. "Sorry about your bush."

Jon:  I’m never sorry about falling into a bush.  Would you let the weird guy in the house?

Sandy:  No, but maybe I'm not as horny as that chick apparently was. "I'm impressed. I never would have guessed you'd have the balls to just" SEXUALLY ASSAULT ME LIKE THAT. Ahhhh, 1999... that did not age well.

Jon:  No it did not.  That happens a lot.  The late 90s were a rape culture heyday.  Does Debi have to kick evil’s ass?

Sandy:  Yeah she does. Who else is going to do it if not her?

Jon:  At the end of the day, mostly Anton.  Would you leave flowers at the memorial for the guys who jacked off in the milkshake machine?

Sandy:  Did I know that they had jerked off in the milkshake machine? 

Jon: Seems to have been common knowledge.

Sandy: Was it really Anton that cock-blocked Randy, or do you think that was more of Randy's own fault? I'll give you a hint... it was Randy cockblocking himself.

Jon: No Anton contributed.  His weirdness gave the girl the chance to bail.  Randy had a slim chance until then.   Would you work at a place that made you dress like you were on safari?

Sandy:  For sure, yes. I'd go there as a customer dressed for a safari.

 

Jon:  Are idle hands the devil’s playground?

Sandy:  Haha, how about when Anton said "idle hands are the Devil's playpen"?? In all seriousness though, I do kind of agree with that saying on some levels. I think rest is important, but I also think doing nothing causes a certain degree of insanity to set in. Fucking knitting?! Haha, PERFECT. What would be your activity of choice to keep that evil hand busy? NO JERKING OFF OR ANY OTHER SEX SHIT AS AN ANSWER. It has to be a craft.

Jon:  I would jack off on a canvas and smear it around into pretty pictures.  Then I’d auction that shit for millions.  Worse way to go- knitting needle through the ear or taser to the face?

Sandy:  That's a tough one. I'm going to go with a knitting needle through the ear. They aren't sharp. "Go go buffalo!" How about when he was knitting AT the cops?! Haha, fuck I love this movie.

Jon:  I think it’s the taser especially since you’d probably have to take it for a longer time.  Slice your own hand off with a butcher’s knife or cauterize the wound with an iron?

Sandy:  Well, both I guess. Don't want to bleed out. I have taped various parts of my own hand back together after accidental injuries, so I feel like I could handle both of those things if necessary, pun intended. How anxious were you with that cleaver scene?? Also, "Look at me, I'm Leatherface!"

Jon:  Not at all.  Now if he were trying to take an eye out, I’d be very anxious.  Which is the better use for a microwave- killing your severed hand or making a burrito?

Sandy:  Obviously making a burrito in this scenario, since the hand didn't die from being microwaved. Who the fuck is going to clean that thing??? I'd throw it out.

Jon:  It’s a microwave so no one is going to clean it.  EVER.  I think that’s the first rule of microwave ownership.  If you were looking for a possessed hand, would you start at the bowling alley?

Sandy:  That was an odd choice. I think I'd start at a store that sold gloves.

Jon:  Are severed heads a turn on or off?

Sandy:  It depends. How fast do you think you'd recover from cutting off your own hand and cauterizing the wound? Fast enough to go to the dance in the same evening?

Jon:  I would never recover from that.  Evil can win at that point.  How bad is it that they ran over the one person who could help?

Sandy:  They just knocked the crap out of her with the car, they didn't totally run her over! It's pretty bad though. But why the fuck approach the back of a huge pickup truck and stand there like a fucking idiot instead of running up to one of the windows??

Jon:  Because all you care about is stopping the evil so you can have the ritualistic sex after.  Has there been a costume party in the last 40 years that didn’t have someone dressed as KISS?

Sandy:  It's a classic choice! Relatively easy makeup job and it looks rad.

Jon:  Why does Molly dance like she did heroin?

Sandy:  I was thinking it looked more like she had done ecstasy. I think a lot of high school girls try really hard to look sexy and end up just looking like assholes. Dudes too. Dudes especially, actually. How does one figure out Druid time? 

Jon:  It’s Greenwich Mean Time +2.  I thought everyone knew that.  Why would they hold a school dance if there’s a curfew?

Sandy:  Maybe the people who run the school are always high too.

Jon:  Is there any chance the shoe will hold the fan?

Sandy:  Apparently not.

Jon:  Is Tanya going to be ok?

Sandy:  Also no. Is it immoral to make out with a chick if you're dead and you know that but she doesn't?

Jon:  I don’t know if human morals apply to the undead.  Maybe when you’re undead, hooking up with the unwitting living is the path to sainthood.  Could Pnub go back if he wanted to get a piece?

Sandy:  He could go back to retrieve several pieces if he really wanted to. Another brilliant line though. Have I mentioned how much I fucking love this movie?

Jon:  You have and unlike your love for Ghostbusters 2, it’s justified.  Weed for strength?

Sandy:  I use weed for emotional strength, so I can see that being a thing.

Jon: Sure but it doesn’t work like spinach does for Popeye.  And spinach doesn’t work either.  That was just propaganda for Big Spinach.

Lessons

Don’t smoke nutmeg and oregano together or separately. 

Always remember the number for 911.

Be there for your friends- even if they accidentally killed you.