Happy Halloween again! As we continue to celebrate Halloween for the entire month, we’ve moved on to an Alison choice- House on Haunted Hill. Frederick Loren (Vincent Price) invites a group of strangers to spend a night in a haunted, murder house for $10,000 which doesn’t seem like nearly enough either in 1959 money or today. Almost immediately the night goes wrong. The caretakers are mistaken for ghosts. There’s a pool of acid. Nora can’t handle the stress. Guns are handed out as protection against ghosts? As the night progresses, secrets are revealed and people die but is it ghosts or something far more sinister… like other people?
Questions
Jon- If 7 people were murdered in a house, would you go anywhere near it? How much money would it take to get you to spend the night? Or would you buy it if the price was good in this real estate market?
Alison- I would live there in an instant if there was no mortgage.
SANDY- It would depend on the circumstances of the murders. Like a mass murder in one home invasion break-in (then yes I would) vs 7 separate murder events (no fucking thank you). If it were the first of the scenarios I mentioned, I might stay there if it was a bed and breakfast, but there’s no amount of money that would get me to stay there otherwise. Not unless I could have a seriously armed security team with me, MAYBE. I would definitely buy the house though if it were within my budget. I’d just sell that shit or knock the house down and build a new one after some serious de-ghosting of the property.
Jon- Where does Vincent Price land in your ranking of the coolest people to ever live?
Alison- Probably near the #1 spot. I adore him.
SANDY- Oh man, he’s up there. I’d say he’s within the top 20 for me.
Jon- How strange of an expression is “putting on my face”? Did women not have faces before makeup?
Alison- I always thought that was weird. Also seems to be outdated now.
SANDY- MY GRANDMA ALWAYS SAYS THAT!! It’s pretty weird. There’s a joke in I Love Lucy where she and Ethyl go to “put on new faces” after eating, and Fred is disappointed that it’s always the same old face when Ethyl gets back. Fred was a cunt. Don’t be like Fred.
Jon- How quaint is it that in 1959 $10,000 was a life changing amount of money that you’d risk your life for it?
Alison- It's so cute. Although id probably still do it for 10k
SANDY- It’s still a life changing amount of money for a lot of people, though it won’t get you anywhere near as far now as back then, of course.
Jon- Which is creepier to find behind a door- the old lady ghost or a leering Annabelle?
Alison- I'm going with behind the door old lady ghost.
SANDY- Oh my god, definitely the old lady. Not for Annabelle’s husband though probably.
Jon- Has anyone ever gone from terrified to calm faster than Nora?
Alison- She's definitely hanging on by a thin thread.
SANDY- Maybe someone professionally drugged her at a hospital before surgery?
Alison- Do I sense sarcasm or does Edward actually find his wife amusing ?
SANDY- Those were some of the most vaguely threatening words ever uttered by a human being.
Jon- Sure he finds her amusing, just not in a good way.
Alison- Are Edward and Annabelle the most happily married ever? SANDY- Yoooooo… BOTH of them knew the other wanted them dead, yet they were still like “yeah, okay. This is fine.” ??????
Jon- You know the three rings of marriage right? Engagement ring. Wedding Ring. Suffering. They are definitely in the suffering stage.
Alison- Why is everyone so okay with Pritchard running around with a butcher knife?
SANDY- I had to look up who that was because I am so bad with names. That dude is such a constant nervous wreck. I don’t remember/understand why he chose to return to the house at all??
Jon- It’s no worse than giving them all guns. I’m pretty sure knives and guns don’t work on ghosts.
Alison- Anyone check what 10k would be now?
SANDY- I haven’t looked it up but I’m guessing at least half a million dollars?
Jon- It’s around $100,000 but I’m guessing that 10k went a lot further.
Alison- Hahahhaha wouldn't you have mentioned Jonas and his wife to everyone at the beginning?
SANDY- Seems like something worth mentioning to me, yes.
Jon- Not if your goal is to make the guests super panicky.
Alison- Are guns inside coffins as party favors a little bit morbid? SANDY- Okay, MAYBE, BUTTTTTTT I’d be lying if I said it didn’t also seem like fun.
Jon- Definitely morbid but also unwise. Nora is out of her mind and they give her a gun. Also, I repeat, guns are ineffective against ghosts.
Alison- Is Nora a bit fragile ? Do you wish she had taken the sedative?
SANDY- Haha, at first I was like “did this motherfucker just casually offer that chick some drugs?!” But shortly afterwards I was like “JUST SHOVE THEM IN HER MOUTH.”
Jon- I don’t think there were strong enough sedatives in 1959 to help Nora.
Sandy- Love the classic screams and moans in the opening. Did I ever tell you about when I’d cruise around with my friends in high school after getting my drivers license and blast the Halloween sounds cassette tape at every traffic light if there were cars next to mine?
Alison- That's a great idea! I'm going to try that !
Jon- That sounds way more wholesome than the shit we used to do.
Sandy- So he’d pay $10,000 even if you don’t survive your stay? Awfully generous…
Alison- I still say I'd do it today for 10k.
Jon- I’d do it for $10k for sure but the money is useless if I’m dead.
Sandy- “Darling, the only ghoul in the house is you.” Best line of the movie?
Alison- Yeah that was pretty badass. He's also right.
Jon- The perfect summation of marriage.
Sandy- Do you think this is where they got the inspiration for the vat of acid episode on Rick & Morty?
Alison- I hope so.
Jon- Maybe but I feel like the vat of acid is a pretty common trope.
Sandy- Would you go back into a room that had locked you in of its own accord?
Alison- Fuck no. There are so many things these people do that I’d never do. Except stay in a haunted house for 10k. That I'd do.
Jon- No but how did I get out in the first place? If it’s going to lock me in but then let me out, I’d do it.
Sandy- What if he had opened the suitcase and it had been filled with dildos?
Alison- You're thinking of the Haunting of Head House.
Jon- The House of Grunted Thrills?
Sandy- Do you think the tryout for Nora was just testing to see which actress could sound the most like a football coach’s whistle?
Alison- She is so shrill. The perfect casting !
Jon- She probably needed to show off some scared faces too.
Lessons
Don’t bring a gun to a ghost fight.
A pit of acid will dissolve you to a wired together skeleton.
No comments:
Post a Comment