September 30th is National Love People Day. If you know any of us, you know that doesn’t exactly come naturally but we’re celebrating with Glorious anyway. After a difficult breakup, Wes packs his car and drives. As sleep begins to overtake him, he stops at a rest stop, eats candy, has a bonfire with his ex’s belongings and gets bombed. Unsurprisingly, Wes wakes up sick and has to do the unthinkable- vomit in a rest stop toilet, head next to a gloryhole. He soon learns that’s not the worst part. A deity has taken up residence in the next stall and requires a sacrifice to save the world. Does Wes love people enough to give of himself to save the world? Do we? Grab a bottle of JD and some Choco Stix and watch Glorious.
Questions
Sandy- Have you ever nodded off while driving? I conked out for a few seconds at a traffic light once while driving back to college. Fucking terrifying.
Alison- I've never done that but it does indeed sound and look like it's terrifying.
Jon- Sure have. Right in front of the police station.
Sandy- I haven’t looked it up yet, but who do you think that frozen statue lady who helped him with the candy bar was supposed to represent? She seems significant.
Alison- I bet it's something weird like a Greek goddess or something.
Jon- The character’s name is Sharon and in mythology Charon’s duty is to ferry the dead across the River Styx so maybe.
Sandy- WOULD YOU RATHER puke outside in the grass amongst the trees and birds and sunlight, ORRRR hold it in to kneel on the floor of a filthy public rest area bathroom with your head in the absolutely grotesque toilet? I’ll tell you what, it’s all grass puking for me from now on.
Alison- This reminded me of Trainspotting. Putting your face inside a public toilet? No fucking thank you.
Jon- I think we all know damn well that I’ll puke anywhere. Middle of a sidewalk, CVS parking lot. Wherever. But not a rest stop toilet with a gloryhole.
Sandy- WOULD YOU TOUCH THAT FUCKING GOO ON THE STALL DOOR????
Alison- Fucking no!!
Jon- I wouldn’t touch anything in that hellhole.
Sandy- Who do you think had to clean up that bathroom after filming this?
Alison- It was probably a set that they just deconstructed.
Jon- DK Simmons.
Sandy- Would you know how to cut your own liver out if you had to do it to save the universe?
Alison- I wouldn't do it. I'd let the universe perish.
Jon- Not my liver. I don’t like people that much. Are Choco Stix always the last candy in the machine?
Alison- Are those real?? Is Choco stix a thing??
Sandy- Is that even a real candy? Is it from 1972?
Jon- Yeah they are or were maybe. Another “I love you beary much” bear? What are the odds?
Alison- I see an unexpected theme !
Sandy- I said the same thing in my notes. This and the big bear suit!
Jon- If you only eat Choco Stix and then down most of a bottle of Jack Daniels, is there any way you aren’t epically sick the next day?
Alison- Nope. I'm surprised he didn't throw up more.
Sandy- I don’t think you’d need to involve the Choco Stix at all for that.
Jon- Do you ever talk into the creepy gloryhole in a shitty rest stop bathroom?
Alison- I definitely will from now on, just hoping for a deity to appear.
Sandy- Ummmm… I’ve never seen a gloryhole in a woman’s bathroom.
Jon- Would you take your own eye out if vomit and rest stop toilet water splashed into your eye? Maybe it could be the body part you sacrifice to save the universe.
Alison- No but you bet I'd scrub the hell out of it with antibacterial soap.
Sandy- I’d be cleaning it with rubbing alcohol and smashed up penicillin.
Jon- Would you listen to DK Simmons talking to you from a toilet stall?
Alison- Yes. Love him.
Sandy- Definitely! That motherfucker is awesome!
Jon- What would you cut out or off to save the world? I’ve already established that I would give my shitty rest stop, toilet water eye.
Alison- Nothing. Fuck the world.
Sandy- Elon Musk’s dick!
Alison- Is he listening to a Bing Crosby song because the rights were cheap?
Sandy- I want to say Bing Crosby is rad but I’m too lazy to look it up and see if he’s done anything terrible to anyone. I feel like the very nature of his existence during the time of his life means he probably did. Can anyone tell me if Bing Crosby was a dick? I did like that song though.
Jon- He’d be a dick by today’s standards but not by his time.
Alison- How ripe do you think this guy smells?
Sandy- Oh boy… I’m sure he is RIPE!
Jon- He probably only smells worse as the movie goes on.
Alison- How bad is it when you’re at a rest stop, drinking whisky and burning shit… wait don’t answer that.
Sandy- I’m pretty sure Jon would do that to celebrate something joyful. Actually… I’m pretty sure Jon already does that for fun.
Jon- I love fire!!! You two sent a fire safety monitor to watch me and he almost blew himself up.
Alison- Worst hangover experience maybe?
Sandy- Are you referring to touching a rest area bathroom floor or having to cut yourself open so a tentacle God could hentai steal some of your liver to save the universe?
Jon- I mean it kind of seems like an average Saturday or Sunday morning when I was 25.
Alison- Is Gary a poor listener?
Sandy- Yeah man! At first I was like “what did Gary ever do,” and then he shoved Wes back and I was “Eat him, Ghat!”
Jon- Would you listen to Wes at that point? He seemed really deranged. I don’t usually listen to crazy guys in rest stop bathrooms either.
Alison- Did you expect the twist?
Sandy- I knew what was coming because I watched it before but it surprised me the first time I saw it. I think it’s brilliant because it really changes how you feel about everything that’s happened and rewatching it with that knowledge is a whole different experience.
Jon- What a twist!!!
Lessons
No sitting or stooping in rest stop bathrooms.
Don’t put your eye to the gloryhole.
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