International Skinny Dipping Day!

 July 9th is International Skinny Dipping Day!  That’s right, the world takes a day to celebrate the time honored, teen tradition of stripping off all your clothes and jumping in a body of water in the dark.  It’s never as much fun as you think it should be either.  In Piranha, skinny dipping is even less fun for Barbara and David after they hop the fence of a military testing site and swim in the pool full of piranhas.  Before long, a hapless private investigator, Maggie, is dispatched to locate the missing hikers but instead manages to release the fish into the local river.  Chaos ensues.  Can Maggie and Paul stop the piranhas before they feast on a summer camp?  Is Dick Miller the coolest man ever?  What is that little claymation monster?  So celebrate skinny dipping by keeping your clothes on, watching Piranha and reading us.

Questions

Jon: How important is reading signs?

Alison: Very important. They may have read it, but totally disregarded it. By the way, night hiking?? Is that a thing??

Jon: It might be a thing but usually you have flashlights or some light source.  Should you ever climb the fence of a restricted military site?

Alison: No, nor should you disregard the signage. Will a little law breaking do you good?

Jon: Absolutely.  But just a little.  Mischief and maybe a little petty theft.  As long as you don’t go beyond that, you’re cool.  Ever been skinny dipping?

Alison: Sort of? When I was thirteen a few friends and I decided it would be fun to give it a shot while already in the water, then quickly re-robed. Shocking!

Jon: Ah there’s the debut of prude Alison.  Does any skinny dipper ever survive a horror movie?

Alison: No, like sex, it is instant death sentence.

Jon: Do you think anyone over 25 routinely skinny dips?

Alison: The French, probably.

Jon: I know the answer but favorite Joe Dante movie?

Alison: Uhhhh…this one?? Not Gremlins, actually.

Jon: Is Maggie really 2/3rds bloodhound when she can’t even find her plane ticket that her boss never gave her?

Alison: Nope. Hey, what is with frying fish with the skin still on? YUCK.

Jon: I would imagine it helps hold the flavor in but apparently some people like the skin too.  So does Paul have the old guy hike into town to get him booze?

Alison: Apparently! Apparently he is also low-key Charlton Heston, wouldn’t you agree? 

Jon: No I don’t see that at all.  

Alison: Had you ever heard of a skip tracing company before this movie?

Jon: I have but usually more as people who track down guys who jump bail.  Does it look like Maggie can actually drive the Jeep?

Alison: Definitely not. And how incredibly rude is she when in a total stranger’s house??

Jon: She’s a woman in a man’s profession trying to get Paul to cooperate.  It was effective.  How great a question is “Did my ex-wife send you?”?

Alison: Pretty fantastic and he did not miss a beat.

Jon: How annoying does someone have to be for you to take your meal and leave your own house to get away from them?

Alison: They have to be at least 1/3rd bloodhound.

Jon: If that were the case, you would move closer to them to eat and probably share your fish.  How cool is the piranha noise?

Alison: So cool. I can’t describe the sound. Bubbles?? Bubbles and buzzing??

Jon: According to Joe Dante, they used a dental drill.  I thought the noise was bullshit but I watched a video and learned that piranha make barking sounds.  Ever go into a building that isn’t yours and start flipping switches and levers?

Alison: Yes, other people’s houses while pet sitting.

Jon: Doesn’t count.  You were invited inside.  What is the little creature?

Alison: I do not know but HOW ADORABLE are Kevin McCarthy’s little creatures?

Jon: They’re alright.  How cool is a guy who carries a canteen full of booze?

Alison: He is definitely 1970s hermit cool, that’s for sure.

Jon: Is Maggie a good PI?

Alison: She does love asking questions, A LOT, so yes?

Jon: If you lived on a river, would you learn to not be afraid of it?

Alison: Yes. I lived near the Hudson and it never scared me. Hey Jon, if you don’t pass your solo swim you can’t get your water badge.

Jon: Well damn.  That’ll keep me up all night.  I really wanted that badge.  Ever have a camp counselor as douchey as Mr. Dumont or one that insisted on being called mister?

Alison: Yes, I had one that told me “I sweat like a boy.” What a bitch. How recently do you think Mr. Dumont has gotten laid?

Jon: Never.  How much more innocent was 1978? They have a hard time believing the government would make killer piranhas?

Alison: So innocent. Approximately half the United States now thinks this.

Jon: Is it fair for Paul and Maggie to blame Dr. Hoak for the piranhas being in the river?

Alison: Not at all. It’s totally Maggie’s fault. Have you ever heard someone say “summer CAMP,” with the emphasis on the CAMP?

Jon: Not that I recall but I don’t usually analyze people’s speech patterns.  Do you feel weird tearing up a photo of yourself?

Alison: I don’t know if I ever have, but it seems like it’s a bad thing to do, magically speaking. What exactly did Dr. Hoak intend to accomplish when he jumped in the water? Being a land bridge? He actually foresaw that?

Jon: I think instinct took over and he wanted to save that boy who was so important that shortly thereafter he disappeared from the movie.  So the military sent all these men for a job they didn’t necessarily believe was needed?

Alison: Sounds accurate. Is the dam operator strangely absorbed by ancient black and white cartoons?

Jon: Nope.  He was properly absorbed in the cartoons.  Is fish genetics a small field?

Alison: I would agree that is likely.

Jon: Does Tom the MP look like he could stop anyone from escaping?

Alison: Hahahaha no.

Jon: Why did Maggie have the MP look up before she flashed him? Isn’t that just combining distractions to counteract them? 

Alison: I actually have here, Does Maggie have a unique way of distracting people? She seems to have ad-libbed the whole thing.

Jon: Ad libbing a distraction is fine but when you have someone look up and then flash them, it seems like you’ve assured that person’s eyes will wind up on what you were trying to distract them from.  Does anyone in this movie pronounce piranha the same way?

Alison: Nope. I half expected someone to say “pineapple.”

Jon: Dick Miller!!!!!

Alison: Yes!!!!! Was Dick Miller born to play a schmucky “resort” operator?

Jon: You watch your mouth.  Dick Miller was born to play anything Dick Miller wanted to play.  How great an insult is “I thought you could get a man’s pants off quicker than that.”?

Alison: It’s not an insult, it’s a compliment. She asks, “Did I ever tell you about Mo Schneider,” meanwhile they’ve known each other for less than 24 hours?

Jon: It’s a little odd but maybe that’s one of her go to stories that she usually tells shortly after meeting someone.  We all have them.  Did you see all the people in the lake and think buffet?

Alison: Jon, I know it’s been a long time since we went to a buffet but this is a little extreme. Also, yes.

Jon: I eat who I want as a buffet.  Why didn’t they get real scissors for the ribbon cutting?

Alison: Do they ever have anything other than the fake ones? Do they sell giant actual scissors?

Jon: Did you look at the campers as a veal buffet?

Alison: NO! Ew. But also haha. Did you like summer camp, Jon?

Jon: Hmmm, 6 more weeks with the kids who didn’t like me, run by sadistic counselors who gave more wedgies than the campers, heat and eating lunch in dirt.  Loved it.  Do you want to feed over-exuberant whistle blowers to piranha?

Alison: Who doesn’t?

Jon: Heavens to Betsy?

Alison: I like that expression. Meanwhile, tell the nice blog readers why you don’t swim in natural bodies of water.

Jon: Because they’re fish toilets.  Also, fish are external fertilizers so there’s fish jizz in there too.  Probably why the water is so salty.  I don’t like pools much either because those are kids’ toilets.  Did Maggie just have to tell the telephone operator to look in the phonebook?

Alison: Seems it. Is it a good idea to work on your hand signals before water skiing?

Jon: It’s probably a good idea.  How safe is scuba diving around motorboats?

Alison: Not very.

Jon: Horny little piranhas?

Alison: Hey, if you’re going to be an invasive subspecies cultivated by the military you have to do your best to proliferate.

Jon: Was it satisfying when Colonel Waxman got eaten?

Alison: YES, although Barbara Steele didn’t seem pleased.

Jon: Why didn’t Paul take the jeans and flannel shirt off before diving into the water?

Alison: It was the 70s Jon. You can’t remove your 70s uniform.

Jon: Maybe he wouldn’t have gotten all chewed up if he wasn’t weighing himself down with all the clothing.  Additionally, why was he wearing a flannel shirt in the summer?

Alison: The 70s.

Jon: Who let the cameraman film the bodies?

Alison: Aaaaaaand the 70s.

Lessons

Establishing hand signals saves lives.

Don’t skinny dip in government research facility pools.

Lakes, rivers and other natural bodies of water are fish toilets.