National Name Your Car Day

 One of the best things about doing this blog is finding obscure National Days and matching them to movies.  It is also fairly challenging, especially trying to find a movie that fits.  October 2nd is National Produce Misting Day.  I’m not sure if I could find a movie that fits that day.  Fortunately, October 2nd is also National Name Your Car Day, a day to give your automobile a name besides car or Explorer or Jeep. It’s a day to really name your car.  It’s also a day for a movie about a car with a name.  So to celebrate I suggest watching John Carpenter’s adaptation of the Stephen King novel Christine.  Buckle up, it’s going to be a wild ride.

The Movie

Christine, a 1958 Plymouth Fury was born in Detroit in 1957 on an assembly line.  The nurse advised that this one be left alone because that nurse could tell immediately that she was bad to the bone.  The nurse was right.  Christine’s first victim almost seems accidental as her hood falls on the hand of an inspector.  Her 2nd victim removes any doubt of her intentions though.  When he carelessly drops cigar ash on her brand new seat Christine kills him.  Fast forward a few years and we meet Arnie Cunningham(Keith Gordon) and his best friend Dennis Guilder(John Stockwell).  Arnie is a nerd who is easily pushed around while Dennis is a football player and ladies man.  They are now seniors with very different goals.  Arnie wants to study and loves shop even though his parents hate that he takes it.  Dennis, on the other hand, wants to get Arnie laid which, given Arnie’s confidence, is quite a task.  Arnie is not optimistic.  He thinks that even though he “carries his life savings between his legs” he will wind up self-pleasuring.  In school, they see the new girl Leigh(Alexandra Paul) and all the guys are in love at first sight.  Classes aren’t going well for Arnie either.  When he is late for lunch, Dennis finds him still in shop class being terrorized by the school bullies, led by Buddy Repperton(William Ostrander) and his sidekick Moochie(Malcolm Danare).  They have his lunch and before Dennis can help him Repperton stabs the lunch to death with his switchblade.  Blows are exchanged and the teacher breaks it up.  Repperton is expelled but it will not be the last time he tortures Arnie.  

On the way home from school, Arnie falls in love.  Christine is a dilapidated shadow of her former self but Arnie sees through it to the beauty that she could be with a little TLC.  He immediately forks over the $250 asking price and drives off in his new love.  Arnie’s parents disapprove of his new lady, however.  They blame Dennis for allowing him to buy it and they refuse to allow Arnie to keep his car at home.  It turns out Arnie’s mom is a bitch.  Arnie is forced to keep his love in a low rent garage.  Christine brings out a new side to Arnie.  He is more confident and assertive.  She is the answer to all his problems even as Dennis begins to question Christine and her true personality.  Arnie chooses to unveil his fully restored Christine and his new girlfriend Leigh at an important football game.  The game ends poorly for Dennis as he suffers a horrible injury as Arnie and Leigh play tonsil hockey.  From there, Arnie’s obsession with Christine deepens and Christine’s dark side truly emerges and we get a weird love triangle between a boy, a girl and a Plymouth.

Christine is a wild ride.  John Carpenter movies always have distinctive scores and this is no different.  Between classic rock songs and 1950s pop songs, he slips in his own compositions that add to the mood of growing dread.  Christine is more than a killer car.  She takes over the lives of her owners.  She drives them as much as they drive her.  Arnie is an ideal owner for Christine.  Being meek and so easily pushed around, the power he feels from Christine is intoxicating and he will do anything for his beloved.  

My 5 Favorite Stephen King Adaptations

1. The Mist (2007)

2. It

3. Creepshow

4. Maximum Overdrive

5. Stand By Me

Lessons

1. Smoking is bad for you.  I like a good cigar from time to time but it certainly isn’t healthy especially in a car that is possessed by an evil entity.

2. You can’t polish a turd.  You can try but no matter how much you rub that turd it’s still going to be a piece of shit.  Also if you aren’t careful yo will get shit all over yourself.

3. If your car tries to kill your girlfriend, it’s probably time to get rid of one of them.  When the hatred between the two reaches this level, you really need to step in.  You should probably take the word of your girlfriend.  

4. Don’t vandalize someone’s car.  It doesn’t make you look tough,  It just makes you look like an asshole and a coward.  Besides, you never know if the car is evil and will take its own revenge.

      5. Don’t name your cars.  I know.  It’s name your car day and I’m telling you not to celebrate the          holiday.  I also know many of you already have.  Cars don’t need names.  They won’t answer            when you call them by it.  They don’t need one for legal documents.  They have real names               anyway.  Christine’s was 1958 Plymouth Fury.