For many years, I have had an incredible fondness for movies that were filmed near where I live. I think it began with 1981’s Ragtime. The “Ragtime house” was about 5 miles from my own as a child so when I saw the movie and the house I was excited. Something of cinematic note had happened near me and I knew exactly where. Turns out. I hated that fucking movie. It was scary or gory or any of the things that drew me to movies then and now. Ever since, though, I have had that same sense when I see a familiar location on screen. Generally, it’s New York City but occasionally the locations are closer. Recently, I have felt that surge of excitement again as I discovered 2 movies written by Ed Adlum. Shriek of the Mutilated was the first at a horror movie event that shall remain nameless. It was fantastic to see the locations in and around Yorktown Heights, NY and I wanted more so when Severin released Invasion of the Blood Farmers shortly after I snatched it up immediately. Adlum not only wrote but also directed this one. The locations were again familiar, roads I’ve driven, buildings I’ve been in. I knew I had to find an opportunity to include it in the blog. I just needed the right day.
October 12th is National Farmer’s Day, a day to celebrate the contributions of the men and women who feed the nation. Invasion of the Blood Farmers is not exactly a traditional farmer movie. Some may not even consider it a farm movie at all but they would be wrong. Just because the Blood Farmers don’t grow corn or have an actual farm or may not even be farmers is irrelevant. They are harvesting a crop so in my book that makes them farmers. So run down to the farmer’s market, grab some apples, cor and jam and sit back and enjoy Invasion of the Blood Farmers.
The Movie
The movie opens with good old Jim Carrey(not that one) bloody and staggering down a very familiar stretch of road. You can tell this is 1972 because there is far less traffic on the road than today. Inside a bar up the street, almost the entire male population of the town, is sitting around getting hammered. Cliff is upset because his wife is gone while the deputy is bombed and powerless. It seems that in Jefferson Valley only the police chief has any ability to investigate anything and he’s in Capital City for a trial. They all miss old Jim Carrey(still not that one) so there is some excitement when they see him shambling, seemingly already drunk towards the bar. He isn’t drunk and collapses and dies on the floor.
From there we meet John and his fiance Jenny who are finally enjoying some quality time by the water. John has been very busy working, trying to build a career in pathology. He works for Jenny’s dad Dr. Roy Anderson. Jenny feels like all John’s time is occupied by her father which is confirmed when Dr. Anderson bursts outside to drag John to his pathology lab in the basement of his house. They need to autopsy Jim Carrey. Turns out old Jim had one hell of a blood illness.
Meanwhile, the blood farmers are really some kind of Druid-y cult that is looking for the perfect blood to resurrect their queen. They are draining the blood from locals, newlyweds,dogs and seemingly anything else they come in contact with. One of the Egon has boundless zeal for his job that actually seems to border on bloodlust. Dr. Anderson’s work brings him to the attention of the blood farmers who kill the family dog. The great pathologist believes the blood they find where the dog was killed is actually evidence of a woodchuck fight. Dr. Anderson has also learned that his blood sample from Jim is growing at a rapid rate. This discovery only draws further attention from the blood farming Druids and endangers his daughter. Invasion of the Blood Farmers is a marvelous 1970s B movie and you should definitely watch it for National Farmer’s Day.
Other Favorite Movies With Cults
The Endless
Cut And Run
Mandy
We Summon The Darkness
The Ritual
Lessons
Nothing happens in Jefferson Valley. While this is not necessarily accurate in Invasion of the Blood Farmers, despite one character’s complaint, it is absolutely true. NOTHING! Even the mall is a bust.
Use clean rags to wipe up blood. Dirty rags are only going to smear the blood around and add an additional layer of grime especially if it is mutated expanding blood.
Always report strange health anomalies. If you happen to stumble upon some weird medical condition, even if you are a pathologist, you need to report your findings. It is always a bad idea to conceal your findings for any reason even if you just want time to understand what you found better. You are only giving blood farming Druids or a virus more time to operate.
When you get married, you no longer have to watch the late show. It turns out that you were only watching the late show because you did not want to have premarital sex. Once you get married, it’s no more Jimmy Fallon only fucking.
Boundless zeal outweighs one’s faults. You may not be good at what you do but limitless enthusiasm will look good in the eyes of others and can help disguise how bad you actually are.
Hire subordinates who you trust and are capable of doing the job in your absence. It will do your business or police department no good if it can’t function while you are away. That’s how you get blood farmers.
No comments:
Post a Comment